Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Truancy

I don't like to admit it, but when I was a teenager, I skipped school once or twice or thrice. Usually I did really exciting things when I skipped like, drive around on country roads or go out to the lake. It's sort of hard to skip school in a small town because everyone knows everyone and word inevitably makes it's way back to your parents that you were being less than honest about your whereabouts.

The town I lived in was roughly an hour from the big city so sometimes that was a desired destination. Once, I skipped school with a bunch of friends and we drove up to the big city for a little excitement. We had a great day and everything was going swimmingly until we stopped at a red light. I looked to my right and lo and behold, my DAD WAS IN THE CAR RIGHT NEXT TO US!!!!!!!!!!

First, my face felt like it caught on fire, next I felt a really ominous rumble in the pit of my stomach and then I think I said something like 'ohmygoddadisrightnexttouswhat
thehellarewegonna do
?' We were so busted, there wasn't any way to get out of it. I think it must have surprised my Dad as much as it did me because he waved hello. Very shortly after that, actually - immediately after that, we hightailed it back to our little town.

Now, when you do something wrong, and you know you're going to get into trouble, the worst part of the whole thing is waiting for your parents to tell you just how grounded you are. It's pure torture. You imagine all types of punishments they could deliver like pulling your fingernails out with pliers, or beating you with weeping willow branches (which hurt like hell), or making you clean the toilets with a Q-tip for the rest of your life. Usually the punishment you get is less than the one you've imagined.

Fortunately, I can't even remember what punishment I got. It must not have been too bad. But then again that was during the period of time where I was grounded for a total of one complete year. But that's another sordid story for another day.
Let's just say that I've learned to never be somewhere you shouldn't be. You'll always end up being spotted by the paparazzi, or wind up on the jumbo tron, or have a crash where you have to explain what you were doing riding a ninja motorcycle at speeds of over 100 mph popping wheelies. Or you could simply end up sitting at a red light, looking over to see you Dad right next to you.

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