Tea parties, baby showers, wedding showers, bridal showers, and ladies luncheons...all of them give me the willies. I feel like a bull in a china shop. I am not graceful by any means and it takes real effort for me to be/feel ladylike. My Mom tells me that I come off as very ladylike - poised, confident, relaxed but inside I'm quaking.
My Mom has all kinds of pretty dishes and shiny sparkly crystal and she loves to have lunches with finger sandwiches and dainty stuff. I get hiney cringes as soon as she mentions wanting to have a luncheon. When the day of the event arrives, I wake up with a knot in the pit of my stomach. I do my duty and bathe, brush my teeth, comb my hair and fix a dish to bring but the sense of dread about does me in.
I attended one such event today. I knew everyone in attendance - they were all family members but I was still nervous as a cat. It wasn't like I had to put on airs, it was just the fact that Mom was going to be using her nice dishes and sparkly glassware and I was scared I'd break something. I had to be sure to use my inside voice, and to tread lightly, not clomp through the house. I had to chuckle softly, not laugh like a hyena which is what I usually do. I had to...behave.
I think I did pretty well today. I didn't break anything or stumble and fall, or knock anything over. I kept my napkin in my lap and sipped not gulped my tea. I didn't inhale my food and didn't talk with my mouth full. But I did get into trouble. I removed everyone's plates from the table when they were done and put them in the kitchen. I was going to try and be helpful by rinsing the dishes but I had forgotten that Mom doesn’t like anyone to clean up for her after a meal. So I made her mad and got scolded for disobeying. I hated that I made her mad at me and I made an exit pretty quickly after that. I guess she felt badly too, because she called me later and apologized for getting mad at me when I was just trying to help.
I don't think I'll ever get it right but I'll keep trying. I'll keep my hiney cringes to myself because Mom loves those girly types of things and I want her to be happy. I'm just sorry that I can't be a girly girl. I'm sure she'd love it but it's just not me. So she'll keep having girly parties and I'll keep faking my way through them. I just hope that that I don't break or ruin anything in the process.
I love you Mom. Tiddlywinks and all.