Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Poor King Kong

Tonight Mr. Wonderful and I are watching King Kong on the telly. (Since the movie is set in the jungle I thought I'd treat you to green type.) Jessica Lange is the damsel in distress and Jeff Bridges is the leading man. You'll be glad to know that King Kong is still large, hairy and sensitive.

Poor King Kong. He always gets a bad rap. He's in the jungle on an island in the middle of nowhere and pesky, gun happy humans show up and kill his nirvana. No wonder he's pissed! In the version of the movie we watched, Kong takes care of his lady friend by putting her under a waterfall so she can clean herself up. He's kind enough to blow warm air on her so her hair can miraculously be re-styled and curled. I bet he made sure not to eat onions before blow drying her because he's sensitive that way.

I like the movie because the distressed damsel's clothes never get wrinkled. She doesn't have dirt under her fingernails. Her hair is always nice. I bet if you smelled her underarms, they would smell clean and nice like flowers. 

I'm mad. I don't have a 25 foot gorilla toting me around the hot wet jungle, I stay in the air conditioning and yet, I am still worse off looking than Jessica Lange at the end of the day. Maybe it's because I'm not on an exotic island in the middle of nowhere wearing a skimpy dress and cool beads. That's gotta be it.

I'd love it if Mr. Man picked me up and slung me over his shoulder and carried me up into a soft nest in the trees. I'm not going to ask him though because with my luck he'd throw out his back and roar just like Kong did. More than likely, he would have onion breath and I'd choke too. Maybe we'll just stay seated on the couch and share a banana.

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