Monday, September 5, 2011

Oh my, that's moonshine!

Moonshine. White lightning. Devil's juice. No matter what you call it, the stuff can be evil.

In my 20s I had a roommate who went to a party where moonshine was being offered. When she got home, she was virtually poured out of the car she was riding in. That poor girl was so snockered, she didn't know where she was. Heck, she didn't know who she was! It was unbelievable how off the charts she was. I couldn't understand how someone could get that messed up.

Many years later, Mr. Wonderful and I went to Tennessee to get married. While there, we managed to find some moonshine for sale and being the responsible adults that we were, of course we went for it. It came in a clear glass mason jar just like you'd expect it to. That was a clever marketing ploy by the people who produced it! The place where we stayed was a wonderful huge log cabin that had a hot tub right on the back balcony overlooking gorgeous mountains. See? We sat on that back porch and sipped our moonshine and guess what? We took a trip and never left the farm! That stuff is crazy!

I didn't plan on going to the moon, and I didn't even drink that much moonshine but it was so potent, I was gone before I even realized it. I think it's called white lightning because it strikes so fast. I think the reason mountain people talk a little strange is because moonshine leaked into the water system and they're all a little bit crazy. I know I was.

Unfortunately, the next morning I could feel the hairs on my head growing and it hurt! I think my eyes were bleeding, too. My friend that I mentioned earlier? She had the same result. She shudders to this day when moonshine is mentioned. So do I a little bit. I'm not sure if I'm in any big hurry to try it again. I think I'll just use what's left over as paint thinner. Or maybe pour it down a fire ant hole to kill them. I'm afraid if I try it again, I'll end up looking like this guy.

No comments:

Post a Comment