Thursday, February 9, 2017

Massage me BRUTALLY

I was given this beauty for Christmas and man was I excited. It's got everything. Heated, vibrating seat, 3 individual back massage settings with heat and 2 settings for neck massaging. This thing is loaded!

I am very hopeful that it will help work out all of my kinks (at least in my neck and back) and that I'll be able to move somewhat normally. I mean, how could it not help  me? It's the Cadillac of chair massagers!

Once I found out that this fantastic marvel of technology would be mine I had the arduous task of waiting for it to be delivered. I waited and waited and waited and the waiting made me more and more tense because I was dreaming of a day when I would be somewhat discomfort less...not discomfort free, just discomfort less. For days I drove home from work at an above average speed, just hoping I'd find a large box on my doorstep. Finally, my waiting paid off. I got home, looked out the front door and there it was! The skies became bluer and the birds chirped louder and I enjoyed the anticipation of little shiatsu balls gently rolling up and down my back and shoulders. It took 10 minutes of wrestling it out of the box and setting it up but soon, nirvana was to be mine.

I put the massager in my comfiest chair, got situated a turned it on. The motor started to whir and I felt the shiatsu balls start moving up and down. It...was...fantastic!!! I must admit, the weight of my body against those hard little rollers was a bit much. I figured that I'd have to push against the rollers but they were so effective I ended up moving slightly away from it because the pressure was so intense. It was almost painful.

Each time my back and neck was pummeled I could feel the knots crackle and break down. Then my back started to feel a little bit beat up. Those deep knots were getting squashed right out of my body! Mr. Shiatsu ninja kicked my ass! Or rather, my back. 

I guess I sat against that thing for a good 20 minutes and by the time it was done, I felt like a limp noodle. It was heaven. I finished out my day and slept soundly all night long, but the next morning was another story. 'Who beat the hell out of me', I wondered. I was so sore it hurt to breathe! Leaning side to side was out of the question. I practically used all of the hot water in the shower trying to loosen things up and I didn't really start moving normally until the end of the 2nd day.

I guess it's not wise to go all in for a long, deep massage when you're really tight and sore. Sure, I broke up some knots but I overdid it something awful. It's been 3 days since I used my massager and I think I'm about ready to try it again. Only this time I won't go for 20 minutes. I might try 5 and see how things feel. All things in moderation people say. I guess they're not wrong because I learned it the hard way. 

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Zoe's Onstage Speech

Kidlet is a huge, huge blues fan and she likes seeing her favorite band as often as humanly possible. Since I'm her driver, I end up seeing them, too. Sometimes we see them twice in one week. Let me put it this way...we see them so often they're like members of our family. Zoe is like their little sister.
She's their photographer, the social media queen and all time number one fan.

We saw the guys playing a while back and she was asked to get up on stage and recite all of the different social media sites where fans could find them.

Now, I'm a gigantic ham so I would have used that opportunity to plant myself on the stage and not leave until the entire show was over but kidlet is another story. She's pretty shy and is very quiet outside of home, so to be called out with 30-40 people watching is a nightmare for her.

She sort of got physically pulled onto the stage and placed directly in front of the microphone stand and I thought she was going to pass out right then and there. Her face was as red as a lobster and here eyes were as big as saucers! The poor girl was quaking in her boots! The guys kept asking her to name off their social media sites and she just got redder and redder and looked like she wanted to dissolve into the floor. She was so scared, she couldn't speak. (cue chirping crickets) I don't think you could have gotten a word out of her if you had reached down her throat and pulled them out!

Poor thing - she didn't know what to do (other than recite social media sites) and her throat was so closed up her voice box was down around her ankles. I think this silence lasted about a minute or so but it seemed like forever. She finally scuttled off stage and rejoined me at our table. It took 3 hours for the perspiration to dry off of her.  It took 4 hours for her knees to stop shaking. It took the rest of the night for her facial color to return to normal.

I guess she's not ready for public speaking yet. That's OK