Friday, February 7, 2014

It was NOT a most excellent day!



picture via Google via wallpaperswala.com
Ah, the lowly egg. Who would think that it could be a dangerous explosive device? Take my word for it - the egg can explode with amazing power given the right conditions. I found this out the hard way. It all started out when I decided to hard boil some eggs at home to take to work for a snack. I didn't have a lot of' time so I didn't boil them for very long but I figured they'd be OK. Once I got to work I was hungry so I cracked open one of the eggs only to have some of the white part dribble out in to my hands. wah wah wah..........  My stomach was growling so I decided to try microwaving the part of the egg that didn't dribble out for 30 seconds. 30 seconds people! That's barely long enough to heat a piece of bread! But about 20 seconds in, I started hearing popping and splattering and a few kabooms. I immediately turned the microwave off and peered inside to survey the mess when the dang yellow blew up in my face and all over me. I never knew something could blow up even when the magical microwaves weren't waving around but boy did it ever.
picture via Google via meaningfulmama.com
Not only was the interior of the microwave totally coated in exploded egg, I was covered. I had egg on my clothes, my face, it was in my hair...it was everywhere. And I was still hungry with nothing to eat.

Shortly after I finished cleaning myself and the microwave I received a message from my boss, asking me to set up a laptop and projector in a nearby conference room and I was instructed to make sure that the computer was logged onto the internet. Easy peasy, no problem. I grabbed the laptop and hightailed it to the conference room. I connected it to the projector and started logging onto the internet and that's when the troubles began. I couldn't get a wifi signal even though we have it in our building and the laptop is equipped to receive it. There had to be some setting that I didn't know about which is a real problem when you're not a technical type of person. I called the help desk and finally got through the steps to get logged on. One problem down then another problem arose! I had the computer hooked up to the cable that makes the screen appear through the projector and nothing was showing up. I looked through the display settings and couldn't seem to figure out why nothing was showing up. 3 minutes to go and I'm calling the help desk again. It's a miracle that I didn't get electrocuted because let me tell ya, I was sweating bullets. I finally got everything to show up through the projector just as people were filing into the conference room. Whew! I asked one of the people attending the meeting if they were waiting for my boss and I was informed that the meeting that was scheduled for that room was for accounting. ACCOUNTING?!?!? That's not what my boss's meeting was covering! A slow burn started in the pit of my stomach and worked it's way up my throat as it slowly dawned on me that I was in the wrong conference room. I cussed under my breath which probably came out waaaayyyy louder than I had expected and grabbed everything and ran like a bat outta hell to the correct conference room. As I entered the correct room I noticed that a person in the room already had a laptop which was projecting onto the big screen which was displaying...wait for it...the internet. After I had recovered from my heart attack I saw my boss strolling through the door so I asked him if he wanted the laptop I brought for something in addition to the laptop that was already up and running. I was told that he simply wanted to make sure there was a laptop ready and available.

Shoot me. Please.

I made it through an hour or so before the next forehead slapper happened. A coworker called and asked me for some images, so I created a folder on my desktop to put all of the images in and fired it off in an email to her. Shortly afterwords she called me and explained that she was having trouble opening the files. I tried to talk her through the process to open them and she wasn't having any luck so I went to the file I had on my desktop to see what was up. Guess what? I didn't put the images in the file! I sent her an empty file! DOH!!!!

The final disaster of the day happened when I ventured downstairs for lunch. I picked out what I wanted, paid and made my way to the elevator. As soon as I stepped in, the styrofoam container wobbled and my lunch fell face down onto the floor. Oh...my...gosh1 What else could go wrong? Luckily, nothing. I made it home without crashing, I didn't burn dinner and I finally got to bed without anything else going wrong. I was really glad that day was over.

Friday, January 24, 2014

Taking A Pseudo(fed) Trip & Never Leaving The Farm

For the past few days I've been having a really hard time keeping my concentration. I'm doing some pretty thought intensive work at my job and this little problem is starting to affect my productivity. I'm normally prone to fits of attention deficit and hyperactivity but usually I can take a few minutes and walk around the office and return to my task clear headed and ready to work.


To compound this problem, my sinuses have been acting up, and after a while I got tired of sniffing and snorting so one morning I headed to the department medicine cabinet for a little allergy relief. The generic packet that was labeled as "Allergy Relief Tablets" had two teeny weeny red pills and I wasted no time in swallowing them down. I didn't give it much thought as I returned to my tasks at hand until about an hour later. I noticed that I was having an extra hard time concentrating and I was having trouble forming words. Being the oblivious person that I am, it never dawned on me that perhaps I was feeling funny because I had taken sinus pills.



After a few hours of feeling VERY loopy I began to get concerned that maybe I had experienced a mild stroke or something. I was talking, but the wrong words were coming out. I was woozy. I couldn't hold a thought. I voiced my concerns to a friend and she began quizzing me about my current activities and also asked me if I had taken any medication. BINGO!!!!! Meds!

My theory is that those tiny little pills had righteously kicked my ass. And not only had they taken me down, they took me down for about 12 hours. It wasn't until the next day that I began to emerge from the sudafed fog. Now, if anyone accuses me of being silly/loopy another day I won't have as good of an excuse but for at least one day I took a trip and never left the farm. Good times people...good times.