Friday, May 31, 2013

The Haunted House - for real!!!!

I have a relative that lives in a haunted house. I know this for real because I've experienced things there. There's even been a news crew there that's had things happen to them so it's got to be legit, right?

I took the kidlets on a trip and we made a stop at this house and pretty much right away something happened. Big kidlet wanted to take a shower so she turned on the water and climbed in to wash away the days grime. As she was showering, the shower curtain started moving inwards toward her. She pushed it out and a few minutes later it moved in towards her again. She checked to see if there was a window open that might have caused a breeze and there wasn't. She checked to see if there was an air vent that could be blowing it but the A/C was off. The bathroom door was closed so there wasn't any chance of any rogue breezes stirring things up. She finally told "whatever" that they at least needed to let her finish her shower before "they" started messing with her and the curtain movement stopped. After she finished and was drying off, she said she felt a presence get right up in her face and she heard someone say "HEY" as clear as day.

We spent most of the visit without incident until it was time to leave then I had my own experience. A short time before leaving I had scolded the spirits and told them to leave my youngest kidlet alone because she was scared and I wouldn't tolerate any pranking or spooking or anything of that nature towards her. She was left alone but I was apparently the next victim. I was gathering all of the sheets and blankets that we had used and was on my way towards the laundry basket when I noticed a yellow pillow case in my peripheral vision go from the back of my right shoulder onto the floor in front of me. the odd thing about it was that none of us had yellow pillowcases. They were all tan with the exception on one blue one. So where did a yellow pillowcase come from? There was no one around me - everyone was outside. And I know for a fact that the pillowcase came from behind me.

I also noticed that some blankets that I had folded up nicely were in disarray when I went to put them away. It was as if someone had rumpled them up. No one had been to the room where I had them folded and waiting so I figure some little imp spirit messed them up just to jack with me.

My relative has some people renting rooms in the house and I asked one of them if they had noticed anything strange. One of them told me that he distinctly heard someone say his name out loud and yet, there was no one home at the time. He later learned that the house was haunted - he didn't know that before then.

There have been many people in the house over the years that have had odd things happen to them. Many have heard muted voices coming from a closet and yet when they investigate there's no one there. I've heard it myself. It sounds like a conversation between a couple of people but no distinct words can be made out. And why would people be in the closet talking anyway? I've been playing cards and watched a poker chip fly off of the table. I know someone who would always go through their nightly routine and place things in certain places only to find them in other locations in the morning. Things get moved around.

You might not be a believer but I sure as heck am. I've seen it and heard it and have people close to me that have witnessed things. It's a little unnerving but I think that it's pretty cool, too. I firmly believe that some folks are more receptive to  spirits and such. It's the whole 6th sense thing. Heck, there wouldn't be so many ghost hunter shows if people didn't sense something. Right? Maybe I'll start my own spirit show. On second thought, maybe not. I'd be too spooky for that. I'd like it but I'd also get scared and would probably strangle my co-host's arm right off their body because I was clinging to them so much. In retrospect, I can get spooked just watching the ghost hunter shows on TV when I'm at home alone at night. Soooo, never mind. I'm glad we spent the night in the haunted house and I'm glad that nothing too scary happened and I'm glad that I don't have to live there all of the time. My nerves couldn't take it.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Quartered sandwiches, please

A friend and I were talking about food today and we discussed the ways we like certain foods to be served. For example, I like my sandwiches cut into 1/4ths because the points make it easier to bite off pieces.

I also like pancakes that are in shapes or that have smiley faces on them. They taste better that way.

And if I eat waffles, they have to have peanut butter on them. And bananas if they're available. Eating them with plain syrup just isn't acceptable.
Bagels are another item that I can only eat if they're prepared just so. They lave to have cream cheese on them.

Only, my bagel can't have a pretty flower inspired smear of cream cheese on it. It has to have about a block and 1/2 of cream cheese. I want to bite into that sucker and sink my teeth so deep into the delectable spread, my gums are white!

I want a mountain of cream cheese!!! I tried to illustrate how much of the stuff I like but one side of the bagel came out looking like it's got tapioca or something piled up on it and the other looks more like ice cream than cream cheese but hopefully you can get the idea.

I'm not sure where my preferences about food come from. Maybe my Mom. I mean, Moms are the ones who introduce their kids to different foods and I know for a fact that my Mom was particular about having her sandwiches quartered. She likes the pointys, too. Now that I think about it, she was very very particular about her meals and how they were presented so some of it must have rubbed off on me. But I've never seen her eat a bagel much less one with a 2" thick slab of cream cheese on it. That one is all my own.

The more I ask people about how their like certain foods to be served the more I find out that I'm not alone. We've all got little idiosyncrasies. If we all shared them with one another, we might be able to have fun times at every meal. Or, we might all be kind of psychotic. Or both. I'm both. Definately. Do you have any?

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Road Trip with Manchild

Manchild and I took a little road trip over to East Texas and boy, was it fun. I love visiting small towns and getting to know some of the locals. And the names of individually owned shops are a sure-fire way to have a chuckle. I saw Fat Boy’s Burgers and the Dead Cat Ranch, the Cut-n-Curl and many others.


We stopped at the Jacksonville Whataburger and I noticed that the staff there had on t-shirts that said “we’ve got tomatoes”. I wasn’t sure what that meant but was informed that the town holds an annual tomato festival. I didn’t know that tomatoes warranted a full-blown festival but come June 6th, there’s going to be one. There will be a parade and it will probably feature a tomato queen or two. There’s also going to be a full-blown tomato fight. That’s the part that grabbed my attention. I want to be in a tomato fight! Only, they’d better be ripe tomatoes and not green ones. Green ones are hard and could cause some serious bruises. I don’t want to get knocked out by a too-forcefully thrown un-ripe tomato. I think my girls would get a real kick out of the tomato festival. And speaking of tomatoes, I noticed that throughout the whole town, there were large, painted concrete tomatoes. They were in front of businesses and houses and just…everywhere. I counted over 18 of them in a 3 block stretch. Fun times, people. Fun times.


After leaving Jacksonville, we decided to try and find a road that would go over a “mountain” that we saw on our way there. We found a wonderful farm to market road that was one of the most beautiful I’ve ever seen in Texas. It was hilly and almost completely covered with old growth hardwoods. It was like driving through a green, leafy tunnel. We almost ran through a hidden stop sign and upon stopping, we noticed a sign for a winery. We decided to venture farther into the woods in search of the winery aptly named “Sweet Dreams”. We finally found it and it was super cool. That’s a classy wine connoisseur term by the way. Super cool wine. There weren’t any customers present so we had the full attention of the owners. They made wine from local resources like blackberries, blueberries, pears and of course grapes. They even had a jalapeno wine! We sampled all 15 varities and liked every single one of them. Well, I liked all of them but one – the jalapeno wine. The owner warned us that it was spicy but that we’d also taste the wine so even though I strongly dislike jalapenos I went for it.


As soon as the first atom of jalapeno wine hit my lips they started burning. Then the stuff hit the inside of my mouth and I went into sensory overload. Very painful sensory overload. Like, sear the top 3 layers of epidermis with insanely hot jalapeno overload. I immediately started choking and sweating and I could feel my throat beginning to swell and close. Manchild told me that I instantly turned beet red even before I started choking. Let me describe how much I was in shock; the owner watched me gag and choke and cough and turn 37 shades of red and purple and I think he got a little concerned. He offered me some water and when that didn’t work, he got me a spoonful of sugar, which was guaranteed to take the heat away. It didn’t. It got so awful, I had to sit down for a little bit. I am not exaggerating when I say that I gasped and coughed for a full 10 minutes. Even now hours later, my throat still hurts. No jalapeno wine for me. EVER!


We wound up purchasing 3 bottles of interesting wines. We got blackberry grape, pear and blackberry, blueberry and grape combined. They’re all sweet and fresh and local. And the owners were so sweet, they took us on a tour of the winery. We even got to go into the cooler where they store all of the fresh fruit that they brew with. While we were there, a gentleman stopped in with a bunch of bags of blackberries he had picked. The winery owner paid him for them and put them in the cooler with all of the other fresh fruit he was saving for a batch of wine.


All in all it was really enjoyable seeing how wine was made. And the tasting wasn’t bad, either. I’m so glad we paused at that hidden stop sign and had time to notice the winery sign. If you ever find yourself on highway 315 between Palestine and Poyner, TX be sure to follow the signs to Sweet Dreams winery. They have live music on the weekends and a killer deck where you can sip your wine, enjoy nature and hear some good tunes. Just beware of the jalapeno wine. You can check out their web site at


We spent the rest of the afternoon slowly making our way back to the little house in the woods by travelling small farm to market and county roads. I regret that I didn’t have my camera ready so I could take pictures of all of the mom and pop businesses I saw along the way, but I was enjoying myself so much, I didn’t want to look away from the road.


You don’t have to go all the way to some exotic locale to have a good time. If you drive slowly enough, you can find all kinds of neat things right around where you live. I could cover county roads through Texas for years without seeing the same thing twice. And when I do, I’m sure I’ll meet some really nice people and maybe even get to sample some pretty great wine.





Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Writers Block

I've had a bad case of writers block lately. I could write about some of the wonderful things I've done with my girls, and I could laugh at my horrid housekeeping skills but nothing seems to gel for me. Whenever I'm struck with a good story idea I always write it down so I can revisit all of my notes and write a bitchin' story. I've got lots of notes bus I'm not motivated to write about them! What's wrong with me? I luuuurrrve to write!

I've always been challenged by my mad (NOT) drawing skillz. I can't draw worth a shit to put it bluntly. Sometimes I'm inspired to draw and I get all frustrated and crazy because what I want to draw and what ends up on paper are two different things entirely. I want to be a realist or at least draw really well like some of the people do in the blogs that I follow (like Gweenbrick ( or the awesome artist at Creative Devolution ( Those folks can DRAW, yo! Me? Um, NOT.  Sometimes, I like really bad drawings but that's because they're not mine and I can appreciate them for what they are.

I decided to revisit some of my past stories and I found out that I write a lot about pain and my love of beer but those things get old. I don't live an overly exciting life. I'm just a normal girl living a normal life. Sure, funny things happen but I often wonder if they're worthy of a story. So I ask you, all 5 of my dear readers, should I keep it up? Should I keep publishing silly drivel and horrid drawings out into the etherinterwebs? I'd really appreciate some honest responses. Let me know. PLEEEEEEEAAAASSSSSSEEEEEE?????

Monday, May 6, 2013

Them ain't paper towels, they're made of chail mail!

Paper towels are the most wonderful invention. They're handy, compact, and they get the job done. The problem is getting them out of the dispenser. There are multiple dispensary misfires and each one is equally frustrating.

The first malfunction involves the need for one solitary paper towel. You pull the dangling towel and 3 or 4 come out. The dispenser is almost empty so there's nothing to hold the towels down and you end up getting a handful. If you try to cram them back up into the holder they stick to your hands because they're wet. Or, they just keep falling back out of the hole because you can't get them to lay flat. Nice going, Ms. Anti Greenpeace!

The second kind of malfunction again involves the accordioned paper towel kind of dispenser only this time, it's so full, you can't pull any out. You tug and a small corner tears off and that's all you get. Or you tug and 8 towels pull out in a compressed clump because they're packed in so tightly. There's no cramming the wasted towels back in the dispenser because there's no room.

The third type of malfunction involves those crazy auto magic eye dispensers. You know the kind - where you wave your hands in front of the dispenser and a pre-measured length of paper erupts from the machine. Yeah, only the all mighty seeing eye is blind. So no matter how much you wave nothing happens. You look like a total spaz yelling and waving your hands at the dispenser. You probably also bob and weave around the thing thinking that it will help. Don't deny it; you know you've done it before. And why don't they adjust the length to give you a little more paper? One spit isn't enough, two is almost enough and three is too much! You're back to square one as far as ruining the environment goes.

I know that I'm an "adult" but I must admit that I've punched a blind magic eye once or twice. I"ve gotten so frustrated I figure if it can't see me waving my hands or bobbing and weaving, maybe it'll feel me punch it in the face. Take THAT Nazi paper towel dispenser!!! Punching the metal accordion style dispenser doesn't really do anything but hurt your hand and maybe dent the container so that the paper towels are even harder to get out.

If someone was smart enough to create post-its or the interwebs there's got to be someone out there who is smart enough to create paper towel dispensers that don't make you want to go all Mr. Clean Apeshit on it. Someone get to work on that, will ya?