Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Morning Rituals

I'm the kind of person who when the alarm clock starts to turn on in the morning, my eyes open. I wake up before the music starts! My clock makes a teeny weeny little click before the music starts so that's actually the sound that wakes me up. Once my eyes are open - I'm up. It's a pain if my eyes open at 3 AM because I'm awake. If it's just me at home, I take that time to vacuum or watch TV or putter around the house. If others are here I have to be really quiet so I usually walk around the back yard and feed the fish or pull weeds.

Mr. Wonderful isn't so quick to jump out of bed and get going in the morning. He likes to hit the snooze button 3 or 4 times. If I've already gotten up and switched off the alarm, I stroll through the room and try to gently rouse him. He groans and growls, snorts, coughs, farts 9-10 times stretches (while groaning LOUDLY) and generally makes a bunch of ugly noises. He stumbles off for his morning constitutional which takes about 30-45 minutes then he's in (my way) the dressing area for his beauty routine. He lathers up his face with shaving cream and it's sooooo cute. He looks kind of like Santa Claus. I like to casually stoll behind him as he's bent over the sink and sink my claws into his cute butt. I don't claw him enough to hurt him...just enough to let him know I'm checking out his keester. A few good squeezes don't hurt anything either. It just gives me a chance to feel him up because, well you know, I can do that now. Next, he goes into the shower. He can be heard through the house cussing and griping because the water pressure isn't strong enough to suit him and it doesn't get hot enough - fast enough. His showers last about 10-15 minutes. I'm not sure why a bald guy needs that much time in the shower but that's the way he does it. I take about 6 minutes max for mine, just so you know.

After he gets out of the shower, he stands on the rug dripping everywhere which really annoys the hell out of me. At least he hangs up his towel. I have to give him credit for that. Next he dresses which involves more grunting and groaning and cussing. I'm usually shushing him the whole time because my kidlets are still trying to sleep. After he makes enough noise to wake the dead he leaves for work. Griping and cussing because he's usually late.

The next person up in the house is kidlet #2. I believe in waking people gently so I quietly enter her room and sit beside her and rub her back and play with her hair. Sometimes she lets me play with her hair, other times she groans and tries to swat me away. Our cat Ruby sleeps with her so I usually end up playing with her and having the "wake up" conversation with Ruby. I tell her how cute she is and then I invite her to stick her booty in kidlet's face. Some days that gets her up. Other days she groans even louder and gripes. Most of the time she wakes up after a few minutes and is all smiles. She's like me in the morning, once we're up, we're ready to take on the world.

I fix breakfast for young kid and before I'm ready to leave for work I wake up older kidlet. I use the same calm technique and try to gently rouse her. She's sort of like Manchild in that she grunts and groans and rolls around and farts a few times before she's coherent. She's not as grumpy as my man but she does have days where she can be a real b............ear. I said bear people! Not the other word.

After I get the young uns up I'm off like a shot out of a cannon. I am lucky and have a  easy drive to work then it's (pardon the expression, Mommy) balls to the wall till the afternoon.

I like morning. I love to watch the sun come up and the animals come to life. I wish I had more time to fix breakfast for my family so I can show them how much I love them. I'll keep getting up early and easing my peeps into awareness and laugh at them with all of their bodily functions.

Good Morning!

1 comment:

  1. yeah...I'm a bit more of a morning person than I used to be, but I still think anything BEFORE 7 AM is just repulsive. If only I could get up in the 8 hour every day, life would be sooo much better.

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