Tuesday, January 10, 2012

I keep a roadkill log when I travel

Is it strange that I keep a little notebook in my console and whenever I see roadkill on the side of the highway I mark it down? I can explain a little so it doesn't seem like I'm a complete psycho. You see, I went on a long road trip one time and it was a bit boring in some places so I was trying to think of something to do to pass the time. Seeing as how we were in a very arid area, there wasn't any greenery to look at or cows in pastures to yell "hello" to. All I noticed were the number of critters that had met their maker via Mr. Goodyear. It got to be sort of a macabre joke whenever we'd see a furry road mess and I started marking down home many critters we saw.

The same person I took the road trip with always seems to end up in the car with me, going on some zany adventure (hey, we can make a trip to 7-11 into an adventure) so it was only natural that the road kill log continued. You'd be surprised at how many poor little animals get run over! The highway department needs to put little fences all along remote roadways to save countless animal lives!

 The roadkill log ended up being a running journal of stupid stuff I see while riding in the car. I once saw a BBQ grill shaped like a hog with the chimney sticking out of it's hiney.  It looked a lot like this one. Is that redneck enough for you?

Another time I was out and about and I noticed a very large lady driving a huge, land yacht of a car. I mean she was LARGE. So much so that her stomach was pressed against the steering wheel. I'm not sure how she maneuvered the car because the steering wheel was mushed into her mid section. I know this picture shows a man in a tiny car, but you sort of get my drift I hope. An odd thing about her car was that the wheels were missing lug nuts. All of them.

                                                     One wheel only had 3 lug nuts. Not too safe.

Yep, she was driving (and probably living) on borrowed time. 


My Manchild always notices how people look while they're driving. Especially elderly people. He notes that they usually have a firm grip on the steering wheel and more often than not, their heads are jutting forward and their mouth is open to some degree. See?


Usually he manages to get his lover lip to stick out a little farther. Guess he was off his game that day.

I also keep track of silly conversations, goofy road signs and stuff that make me chuckle. You should try it some time. It's really fun to go back at a later date and see what you wrote. It brings up fun memories, makes you laugh and maybe even makes you want to go on another road trip.

Bon voy-yagee yall!

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