Monday, January 23, 2012

Is true love enough?

When you're involved with someone you tend to ignore some things you might not like about them at first. But after you've been together a while the things that bugged you a tiny bit begin to bug you a lot. As I've gotten older I've learned to not sweat the small stuff as much.  Mr. Wonderful does lots of things that make me cringe but I love him more than I hate the quirks he has.

I've been thinking about fundamental differences between people lately. Let's say you love someone deeply but they don't like the same kind of music you do. And let's imagine that music is really, really important to you. Do you call things off just because your partner doesn't feel the same way? I could understand if your partner was a killer - that's pretty dang wrong, so leaving might be a good idea. But how about things you believe in?

I myself think that having differences can be a good thing. In my first marriage I married my polar opposite. At that phase of my life, being completely different was a good thing. Now, not so much. Even though we are quite a bit alike I wouldn't want Manchild to have the same exact thoughts and beliefs as me. It would get boring.  I respect his ideas even if I don't agree.  And disagreeing is part of being with someone. One thing I do know for a fact is that you can't make the other person change just because you want them to.

You can't force your beliefs on them. If you do manage to bend them to your will, more than likely they'll end up snapping right back in your face. So how big of a belief is big enough to throw it all down the drain because your partner isn't on the same exact page as you? Would you throw away a perfectly good friendship/marriage/partnership just because your significant other doesn't feel just like you do about something?

I wouldn't. Oh no, nuh uh, no way. True love is too hard to find. I'd be interested in hearing how you guys stack up on this issue. Would you let a good love go if they didn't share your beliefs on some issues?

1 comment:

  1. I think you have to have some CORE issues you agree on, but the little things can be let go.