Facial Glop

 So I've been trolling blogs looking for inspiration and I came across http://karensomethingorother.blogspot.com/ who did a crazy funny story about Jersey Shore and makeup. It was so funny I decided to pay tribute to her and copy

her idea.

Have any of you watched Jersey Shore or Mob Wives or any of those guidette shows that seem to be so popular? The girls wear their makeup so thick, if you ran your fingernail down their cheek you'd get a clump of makeup on your fingertip! They are the 2K version of Tammy Faye. Don't know who Tammy Faye is? OMG, she was one of the original makeup queens. Who wore LOTS of mascara. I've tried to put on as much mascara as she wore and I can't do it!

Tammy Faye wore so much makeup, she was a iconic character. There were even T-shirts that made reference to the mass quantities of makeup she wore. See?

I work for a cosmetics company and we sell some really pretty stuff. Our stuff can really help you out in the skin department and lots of scientific research goes into all of our products. Please DO NOT think I'm ragging on my company. I'm not.

I'm going to show you how horribly wrong things can go when makeup is applied improperly. Where as KarenSomething decided to be a Jersey Shore girl, I'm trying to be a Tammy. First, I used a really cool makeover app . I chose some Tammy-like colors, and made sure to up the intensity. I also decided to see how I looked as a red head. What do you think?

For some reason, all 63 of my chins still showed up. Huh, guess I'll have to put on more foundation. The next experiment I'm going to try is the at home version.

AND NOW, THE PICTURES YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!!!

I'm going to show a procession of shots. The first one is of me first thing in the morning. Yes, that's leftover makeup from yesterday...

OK, so a little color is OK, right?

A little heavier but still somewhat respectable.

Getting even heavier. Sort of the Amy Winehouse look.

Full blown guidette dontcha think?

Half makeup on, half makeup off. Look how much junk is on my cleaning rag!!! I threatened Manchild that I'd go out shopping with him all day sporting this particular look. It may not be entirely visible but I've got enough bronzer on to tan 30 readheads. My skin started itching because it couldn't breathe! The pictures don't do justice to the amount of product I had on my face but trust me, it was pretty gross. I think I'll stick to my 48 year old, slightly saggy, slightly wrinkled, slightly made up face thankyouverymuch. Unless I get an eyebrow lift and some filler injected I am going to look like a 48 year old woman with the mental processes of a 20 year old. I'm a great guidette in my own mind.