Tuesday, January 24, 2012

She likes me! She really likes me!

Kidlet #2 likes my blog. She reads it regularly and then we discuss it. She's really proud that I posted her twisted 3 bears story. Why wouldn't I? It's pure awesomeness. My older kidlet is sort of "meh, who cares" about my stories. Maybe when I'm dead and gone she'll pull my blog out of the archives and read a few lines. My Mom (luv yew, Mummy!!!) reads me, which I really like because I want her to be proud of me. She told me that she likes my stories. A few friends at work read me, too. It makes me feel really, really good when someone tells me that they read me. I guess there's a demand for good bullshit out there.

Anyway, kidlet #2 told one of her teachers about my blog. Supposedly, Mrs. Elkins has read some of my tripe. That scares me cuz' she's a teacher for cripes sake! She might discover that I'm the queen of run on sentences. Or she might discover that per her suspicions, I really am crazy. And then she might call child protective services out of concern for my kidlet. And then I'll have to kill someone because they tried to steal my kid. But then again, I DID post lots of pictures of hot firemen (some of which were naked) so she's got to respect me for that don't you think? You're welcome ladies. Hot firemen just make a day better. 

Come ON, anyone can be normal. If I apply just the right amount of chaos and craziness at home, my kiddos might turn out to be someone of character. Not some boring, straight laced politician or psychiatrist or urban planner. No, they'll be about half a bubble off of center just like their crazy old mammy. They'll be pyromaniac, blues loving, screaming contest in the car in the parking lot of Albertsons, calamari eating fools! Sounds pretty dang good to me!

One of my daily rituals with young kidlet (and older kidlet when she was younger) is to ask her if she got in any trouble. If she says 'no' then I scold her. I told her the other night to go to school and spit on her coach. I didn't really mean it. It's just the way we joke. I also ask her each day if she learned anything and she knows to say 'no.' Good girl. Manchild asks her what she did that day and she's trained to say 'mildew.'

My Dad used to tell my friends that "they" were looking for them. He'd go on and on about how "they" were looking earlier, then they came back looking and they really wanted to see her. Finally the friend would ask who and my Dad would say "the buzzards." I use that one, too. If younger kid asks Manchild where someone is, he always says that the hogs ate them. That's how we roll.

I remember Manchild telling me that when we were kids, he used to like visiting our house because we were the most offbeat family he had ever known. No "Cleaver" family where I lived! More like the Addams family or maybe the Munsters minus all the dust and stairs.

Well, I think I've gotten off the subject enough for today. Thanks for reading and hey kidlet - thanks for supporting yo mammy! I lub yew!

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