What are those idiots thinking?!?

Because I work in an industry where we have to keep up with current trends, I get to see a lot of magazines. It's sort of nice perk of the job...getting to read magazines while at work and not get into trouble. I keep track of and stock our magazine room which is...an entire room filled with various magazines from floor to about 8 feet up. Of course, we get all the girlie magazines like Vogue, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, Elle, Vanity Fair, InStyle and many others.

The thing I've noticed that just drives me insane is that the magazines feature stuff that the average working girl can't afford! I don't have $350.00 to buy a cute little skirt to wear on weekends! I don't spend hundreds for slacks or hundreds for shoes or thousands for nice suits. I shop at Jacques Pennay (JCPenney), Tarjay, Ross, TJ Maxx, DSW, PAY LESS SHOES. Affordable places.

I will admit that I am very fashion challenged. I can't throw together cute little skirts with cool tops and complimenting cardigans with adorable little scarves. Hell, I'm doing good to make my shoes match my outfit! I'm from the old school way of thinking my socks have to match my shirt. If I wear brown pants, I'll wear brown shoes. You get the drift? So besides being cheap frugal, I'm clothes challenged.

Right now, things are really bad because I'm overweight and none of my regular clothes fit. I have a black pair of slacks and a brown pair that fit. Period. I have 2-3 skirts to choose from but I'm lacking the cute item to put on top that will hide my tummy. Since my back surgery, lower heels have to do because to wear the high ones are like sticking a knife in my back. I don't have but 2 cute pairs of low heels.

Colors are cool but I don't have clothes like these.

I don't have enough snow to fill these cones!

This is NOT me.

I'm not sure what this is!

My child support has stopped for I don't know how long, so my money is being stretched even further. And I haven't checked recently but I don't think that they've started paying cops a three figure salary just yet so I can't count on that. Boo hoo and pity me people! No, really...I'm not looking for pity, I'm looking for a shopping assistant who has a sense of style and who can master Ross Dress For Less like a ninja warrior. Nordstrom has personal shopping assistants! Neiman Marcus has them! Why not Ross? I think if Ross or any place like it could pay a person based on the amount of items the customer picked based on the assistant's suggestion and they'd be rolling in dough! I'd buy!

I went to H&M yesterday and my daughter helped me pick something out thank goodness. I'll wear the exact outfit she put together for the rest of my life, or until she changes it up. I won't deviate from her plan. Because I'm too challenged to put together something so cute. That's why mannequins in stores are dressed up, right? I wear the exact outfit the mannequin wears.

I see all kinds of fashion blogs and admire the ladies who can mix things up. I wish I had "it". But I don't. So, if you see a girl walking through a store who is dressed exactly like the mannequin it's probably me. Only, I'm not quite as stiff as the mannequin.