Monday, February 6, 2012

You're 48, of course you're going blind!

I went to the eye doctor today because I thought I might need glasses. I used to wear fairly thick ones but I got lasik and I could see really well after that. When I turned 40 things started going down hill. I don't have to wear specs all the time but I do need cheaters when I read. And I don't need strong cheaters, I only need a 1.00 power pair.

My job involves lots of computer work and I noticed that when I'd work on the computer then look away from the monitor, I couldn't see anything else. Everything was fuzzy. And I can't read anything anymore unless I have my cheaters.

I was beginning to get worried because I do not want to have to start wearing glasses or contacts again. This prompted me to have my eyes checked. I found a very nice eye doctor and was pleasantly surprised to find that some of the techniques eye doctors used to use have changed a lot. Probably one reason I hesitated to get my eyes checked for so long was because I hate, hate, HATE the horrible test where a puff of air is blasted at 10,000,000 psi directly at your eyeball. That is a cruel test. They don't do that any more. Now, they put tiny drops in your eye that sting like hell before they numb everything. They have an instrument that they stick onto your eye and it measures your eye pressure. Sounds gross I agree, but your eye is numb so you don't feel a thing.

My eye doctor listened to my concerns then gave me the wonderful test where you have to cover one eye and read a chart that's 6 miles away with the other eye. The other test I got was the one where you peer through various lenses and tell the doctor which lens makes things clearer. I think 9 out of 10 lenses are the same and the doctor is secretly laughing at you make a fool out of yourself by stating that you can see better through one plain glass lens over another. I told him that, too. I felt that it was important to let him know I was in on his wicked little joke.

I guess my doc figured out fairly quickly that I was a jokester because when he did the check up where he uses a magnifying glass and ultra bright 10,000 watt light to peer all the way to my retina he told me that it was the test where he could see any good or evil in me. I told him that he should probably wear a shield because he'd probably see all sorts of bad stuff.

The good news is that I can still get by with my cheaters. OR I could spend a couple of hundred bucks and buy a fancy pair of prescription glasses that are basically the same power as my cheapies. I'm not going blind (any more than any other 48 year old person is), my retina isn't detaching, I don't have any tumors and my eyes aren't crossed. I passed!!! Now, I don't have to go back for another 10 years. Or until I can't see very well and get paranoid again. Whichever comes first.



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