Sunday, July 1, 2012

Holy Labotomy!

Sanity warning: The next few posts will be about my medical odyssey into madness. If you're adverse to anything medical - don't read this!

I've always considered myself something of a oddball and I like it. I am very blessed with a loving family, a good job, a nice home, good luck and fairly somewhat almost decent health. I've had a fairly uneventful health-life but the things I have had are sorta odd.

My brain issues all started with migraines when I was in my 30s. No biggie, ladies have migraines all the time so when I had them I didn't consider it anything too odd. But one migraine put me on my keester and I couldn't get up. It got bad enough that I went to the ER in an attempt to get some relief. The nice doctors and nurses juiced me up with some really good drugs and sent me home. I felt better but my head still felt...off.


I woke up the next day and my head still hurt pretty badly. And I was dizzy and confused. The day after that was worse so I went to a neurologist in the hopes of getting a professional bonk on the head to make everything clear up. While at the doctor's office, I found out that my head hurt much worse than I wanted to admit. When Dr. Labotomy shined his little penlight into my eyes, I almost threw up on him. He had me stand up with my arms outstretched in front of me with my eyes closed. I was to simply stand there with my arms even with one another. I figured 'what an easy/stupid thing to do' but when I opened my eyes, one arm was raised and the other was 1/2 way down. He did a bunch of other tests, then told my Mom to take me home to rest for 8 or 9 days. Oh, and he gave her a prescription for some really, really strong medicine that totally knocked me out. He wanted me to stay awake only long enough to eat and take care of bodily functions. The goal was to totally knock my brain out (like a coma) and let it re-set itself.


I guess it worked because after all that time, my head didn't hurt anymore. The only problem is that in retrospect, I can't really remember anything from a day or two prior to my initial headache until time about 6 weeks later. I don't know where the time went. I guess I functioned ok - I just can't remember anything.

The years rolled by with an occasional migraine here and there but nothing really noteworthy. One day I woke up and when I viewed the world, everything was jumping around and I felt like I was going to pass out. What in the cat-hair was that about??? It was hard to drive and see and function. I figured I had better get it checked out considering I was worried I was having a heart attack or something. And so my medical mystery began.
To be continued.....

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