Monday, July 23, 2012

Strollers? Really?

I live in a pretty nice neighborhood. There aren't million dollar houses but all of the homes are in the 2,000+ square foot range and are well maintained. Lexus' abound as well as BMW's and large SUVs - are you getting the picture? Decent, middle class people live around me (hey, I didn't say I was one!!) and I would think that to have achieved the station life that they are in, they would have to be reasonably intelligent with decent paying jobs. So I was floored when I was driving down the street one day and I saw a couple walking with their dog in a stroller! It was a doggie stroller! I didn't know that such things were even made!

I went to my favorite source for pictures - the all mighty Google, and guess what? I saw multiple pages of doggie stroller images. What the cat-hair is that all about??? Since when did dogs need strollers? Isn't that why they have 4 legs? Obesity is rampant in America and I'm sure this includes dogs, too. Pushing a pup around in a stroller probably isn't helping anything. One of these days, the good old U S of A is going to be full of fat, lazy lard ass dogs who won't lift a paw to help their masters.

Picture this...a hunter heads out in the early morning to his favorite duck hunting spot. Mist is rising off of a lovely pond and ducks are flying low in graceful formations, ready to touch down. The hunter quietly readies his rifle and fires off a shot, bringing down a plump duck. Once the duck hits the water the hunter instructs his duck fetching dog to retrieve the prize that he has just shot. The dog gets it's foot tripped up in the bedding within that's in it's stroller and he falls to the ground. The hunter struggles to help the lard ass pup get upright, then gets a small dinghy for the dog to ride in so that the duck can be retrieved. The dog struggles to start the small 5 horse power motor but finally succeeds and putts off to get the duck. Once dog and duck have returned to the hunter he struggles to lift the dog out of the dinghy and back into it's stroller. The hunter ties up the boat so it won't drift away then slowly pushes the dog in the stroller back to his vehicle. The remainder of the ducks on the pond are startled by the squeaking of the stroller wheels and they fly away, never to return. The hunter will have to find another place to hunt. I bet if sportsmen ever read this, they'd all have heart attacks! Then, small dinghy sales and doggy stroller sales will probably drop off dramatically.

I think that dogs are mans best friend and that the two shall walk side by side. Not a human pushing a silly little stroller with a fat dog laying down inside of it. I won't push my pup around in a stroller just like she won't push me. But that's just my opinion.

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