Friday, July 6, 2012

Holy labotomy part 5 - the wrap up

So, I've been a good girl for the last 2 1/2  days and I've done everything that my doctor ordered me to do for my 3 day EEG. I've stayed in front of a camera over 90% of my time, I've marked on a sheet of paper whenever I got up and moved around so they'd know that I wasn't having a siezure - I was just fixing a ham sandwich and I've tried my level best to act "normal" in front of the cameras. And I am now officially completely insane. I have lived through the stages of denial, anger, self pity, anger, sadness, craziness, acceptance, anger and now - hopefulness since I only have about 8 hours till I can get these dang stinkin' electrodes off of my head.

During my trying times I tried to devise ways to break the monotony. I've read, watched TV, surfed the interwebs, played 75,000 games of solitaire and mah jong and even made a video or two. I had all this shit put on my head on Thursday afternoon. Today as I write this, it's Sunday morning. As of last night, I was to the point where I was crying because I was so crazy-bored-lonely. My youngest kidlet went to her Dad's. My oldest kidlet had to go to work. My Manchild went to the little house in the woods. So it was just me and my 3 cats in the house.

My medical instructions informed me that I could imbibe so by Saturday night I had decided that I would cop a buzz. Maybe then I could come up with something amusing to do with myself. I sort of did.

I have a whole closet devoted to Halloween. Decorations, costumes, get the idea. I realized that some poor schmuck was going to have to watch a zillion hours of boring video of me sitting on the couch so I decided to entertain them as well. I snuck some hats next to the couch and periodically, I'd put one on. I figured I'd "test" the technician to see if they were really watching. Here are some of my favorite looks:

Viva la Mexico!

Your royal hiney-ness


I'm so hap hap happy!!!
 Here are my videos:

I wrote notes backwards on paper and held them up to the camera so that the technician would have something to read besides watching me sit like a lump on a log. I sang little ditties after my rum punch had kicked in so that the technician would have a little entertainment. My kidlet did a few dance moves in front of the camera and her friend made silly faces. Let's just say that hopefully, the EEG technician will never have seen such an amusing study video. I wonder if my doc will mention it to me. I hope I can remember to ask her when I see her 3 weeks from now.
My constant companions

 As you can see, I officially made it to looney land. I'd like to thank the Academy, my parents, my children and my constant companions - Schwayze and Pork Chop and Ruby (not shown). I'd like to thank my bestie Mel for coming over and saving me from my own insanity and for watching Paranormal Activities 2 AND 3, after which I jumped at every single sound in the house once the lights were out. I'd like to thank the makers of rum and Diet Dr. Pepper for removing me from reality. I'd like to thank whoever created wash rags and liquid soap so that I may indulge in a tepid sponge bath. I'd like to thank the makers of Ramen soup so that I could keep my strength up. I'd like to thank and give an award to the people that invented TV and computers - a lot. I'm sure I haven't mentioned everyone/everything that helped me through this quest and I'm sorry to those that I missed. I'm going to take my award and put it on the mantle. Then, I'm going to take a shower (FINALLY!!!) and shave my legs and get in my car and drive away very, very quickly and I'm going to go to a very crowded, noisy place and revel in my freedom. And I swear not to put my hiney on my sofa for at least a week.

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