Do you see how huge that slice of cake is? Well, today I ate a piece about that big. It was one of my favorite kinds and for some reason I've got a really bad sweet tooth today and I...just...went...for...it.
I don't normally eat sweets but when my sweet tooth starts singing, I might as well upend a bag of sugar and pour it down my gullet. I love to eat cake and drink ice cold milk when I need something sweet. I didn't have the milk so I made up the difference with cake.
Afterwards, I figured I'd better brush my teeth because that cake was so sweet and had so much frosting I could actually hear the enamel on my teeth shattering. I'm proud to admit that I have never had a cavity. My teeth are pristine. The jawbone surrounding them is crap but my teeth are good. And today is not the day to ruin my good record.
I brushed and flossed but you know what? My teeth feel yucky. I'm afraid that when I smile I look like this:
See all the little germies crawling around on my broken teeth? See how my face ballooned into a pumpkin? Yep, that's what happens when you eat a slice of cake the size of a 13 serving portion. In hindsight, it wasn't worth it but it sure was damn good at the time I was shoveling it in.