Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Strip Clubs Have Nice Girls

I was reading one of my favorite blogs and saw the following comment about the writer's visit to a strip club:
"One strip club I went to, the women’s bathroom doubled as the strippers dressing room. They had to stand guards outside the door to keep men from going in. At another, the bathrooms were co-ed which I did NOT like. No strippers in that one though. Oh, one time, while getting a lap dance, my stripper was so nice. She told me to watch my purse because “the bitches here STEAL.”
Strip clubs are so bad ass. I’ve never had a steak, or even eaten for that matter at a strip club."


How about them apples? I have to admit, I've been to a few strip clubs. I like to watch the men watch the girls. It cracks me up. Some of them are "respectful" and watch - not leer. They're quiet and mind their manners and basically leave the ladies alone. I respect that.

Others say stupid things out loud like they think that's going to get them lucky or something. I guess they don't realize that it makes them look even dumber. I'm so sure that the lady dancing is going to want to exit the stage and rush right over to the dummy and be his new girlfriend. What are these guys thinking? Oh yeah, they're not thinking. They have verbal vomitosis of the mouth. The club manager should carry around binder clips so when the bozos start talking smack, he could clip their lips shut.

Once, I took a guy to a strip club for our second date. He took me out for the first date, and I wanted to show him that I was cool, so I took him out to dinner (where I ran out of cash and had to borrow from him) and then to a strip club. We had a great time. I think he thought I was cool. If I was a dude, and a chick took me to a strip club, I'd think she was da bomb!

I've heard that some of the nicer clubs offer really good meals. I guess that's a way to get guys to come in. I used to work off of a street in a industrial area that had lots of clubs along each side. I'd pass by some of them on my lunch hour and see the girls standing outside, showing off their wares in an attempt to lure lunch hour customers. Only these clubs weren't of the highest caliber. I imagine that the dudes that went there on their lunch hours got stale pretzels and peanuts and watered down beer.

I like the way the owners name their clubs, too. The names are so sophisticated...not. Around here there are clubs named: Pandora's Box, Baby Dolls, The Fare, Spearmint Rhino, Beamers, Bombshells Cabaret, Chicas Bonita's Gentleman's Club and the list goes on and on. I think they should open one called "Titty Flop" because that's sort of what goes on inside.

I like to think that the majority of the girls working in that kind of place didn't grow up aspiring to be a topless dancer. I think that they're doing what it takes for them to earn some money so they can move along to the next phase of their life. And some of them make pretty good money! There are moms and students working there. Some of them have level heads and others are a little...lost.

From what I've heard, lots of times the girls have to be a little tipsy or drugged up to get up on that stage with all kinds of guys staring at them. I would! And it's common knowledge that pole dancing isn't as easy as some make it look. Heck, they have pole dancing classes all over the place now. The last time I tried it, I skinned all of the hide off of my inner thighs and crashed my head on the floor so hard, I fell through the stage! OK, not really but it IS hard.

I think I'll do the world a favor and leave the stripping and pole dancing to the professional girls. I'll just pop in and visit once in a blue moon to make sure that the nice guys are still behaving and the stupid loud mouths are still stupid. And maybe they'll have binder clips on their lips because my genius idea became reality.

Signed, Miss Lady Hot Tots

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