Thursday, November 10, 2011

Flying Solo on a Friday Night

I did something last night that I've only done a handful of times. I went out on the town by myself. And you know what? I actually had a nice time! Usually, I'm too uncomfortable to pull up a stool and sit at the bar by myself - I feel like I look weird, and I often feel more lonely than usual.  But last night I didn't care. I was watching a band that I love & that I'm friends with and all I wanted to do was immerse myself in their music.

I sat on my perch alone for maybe 15 minutes before I saw a familiar face enter the bar. I was pleasantly surprised when he asked to sit with me. My friend Lee is a widower of two years and is an extremely sweet and gentle man. I haven't known him for too long and yet I feel very comfortable around him. Mr. Wonderful knows him and thinks the same thing. Anyway, I have to admit that I did feel a bit better having someone sit with me.

Usually when I go out to hear my friends play their music, I'm totally oblivious to everything else around me but for some reason Lee and I ended up talking the night away. We traded stories about our marriages - his lasted 23 years before one terrible day when he went into his home to find his beloved wife dead. She just...died. He was and still is, totally heartbroken. He admitted that he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life alone but doesn't know who could possibly fill his deceased wife's shoes. I admitted that I had been married for 21 years before my marriage crumbled and ended. My ex is a really nice man and I still like him - we just didn't fit being married. I got lucky and reconnected with Mr. Wonderful who I've known since I was 10. I told Lee that Mr. Wonderful will never be the same as my ex but that he was great in a totally different way. And I told him that one of these days when he least expects it, maybe he'll meet someone new too.

I know I went off on a tangent just now but I had to share. I'm really proud of myself that I went to do something I wanted and that it didn't matter if I had anyone along with me. I enjoyed my time alone and was surprised but pleased that in the end, I wasn't alone.

I guess the point that I'm trying to make is that even when you're alone - you're not. There are lots of people out there that are just alone as you and if you're lucky, you'll end up bumping into one of them and together the two of you can find a commonality and be alone together.

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