Tuesday, May 8, 2012

What's that in the flowerbed?

Putzing around in my usual clueless way the other day, I was startled when Mr. Man jumped and shouted "OH SHIT!!" Mr. Man hardly ever gets startled. That in itself made me even more startled-er. He told me that the snake in the flowerbed startled him just as calmly as if he were telling me what time it was.

Since most of the time I have a camera nearby my first instinct was to grab it and get as close as possible to the snake as I could for a good shot. The scenario went pretty much just like this;

SSSSSHHHHHHHHH, you'll scare it away!!!!
OK, ugh...it's hard getting down (as I get to my knees and lean WAAAAAY in to shoot the picture)
WATCH IT!!!! I'm not exactly sure what kind it is. It might be poisonous. Snakes can strike almost twice their entire body length.
CRAP, SHIT, OUCH, DAMN, here, take the camera, help me UP, shit, HURRY, ohmygodI'mgonnadie!!!!

Awwwww, Manchild cared about my safety & didn't want a possibly deadly poisonous VIPER to sink it's deadly fangs into my jugular. But he also got tickled watching his semi-crippled love goddess wife try to get up and run away in .000007 seconds. Thanks honey.

Once I recovered curiosity got the better of me so I grabbed my camera again and went back to the flowerbed to find the snake. I was trying to lean in for a good shot and Boyo was nudging the snake with a stick in an attempt to get it to pose nicely for me. I suggested the Atlas pose, the Thinker and the Crane as demonstrated by Ralph Macchio in The Karate Kid. Dang ol' sourpuss snake just retreated under the house. Maybe he'll run into the skunk that lives under there & he'll get sprayed. That's what he gets for startling Mr. Wonderful and for being unreasonable & refusing to pose for me. Dang ol' diva snake.


  1. if it was black like the snake in the top picture, it's not poisonous. they're rodent eaters and good to have around. they're also super fast when they want to be.

    1. @ Sherilyn... I'm pretty sure he knew exactly what it was. He's lived in the country almost his entire life. He just wanted to scare the shit-fire out of me, what with me being a city slicker and all. He gets his kicks that way. That's why I call him my manchild. I love/hate him.