Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Holey moley I'm a hot mess!

People, what in the cat-hair is wrong with me? I swear, I think I'm going crazy! I'm not me. When I should be happy, I'm not. When I should be mildly annoyed, I'm filled with rage. I'm talking scary-I-want-to-go-Columbine-postal rage. Some days, I have to try to be nice. I get pissed off at the drop of a hat. For the most part I hate every thing and every one. I'm a negative Nellie.

The normal me loves everyone. I love underdogs. I love outcasts. I love strangers. I'm the girl who wants to invite 365 people to a 3 person happy hour. I make friends with store clerks and delivery guys.

The other day I caught a glimpse of myself as I was walking past a window and I looked like a total bitch!

I purposely ignored my brother's birthday because for the last few years he's been a dick to me about Mr. Wonderful. For 44 years I've worshipped the ground he walked on even though for about 36 of those years he was a dick to me. Now my mindset is simply "screw him". I'm done with that asshole. I think that way even more so now. People who've annoyed me but I tolerated are being erased from my list now that I'm psycho.

I wonder how many people I've pissed off since I've fallen out of the tree? The scary part is that I sort of don't care. I think I need a frontal lobotomy. Are any therapists reading me? Any tips? Please? No worries. I wouldn't ever hurt anyone. Just myself. And no , I wouldn't ever kill myself. I might drink myself to death but I wouldn't do anything rash. I just want the old me back. Now, please.

Quick follow up: About 45 minutes after I ranted and raved the above, I was happy as a clam, burning twigs with Mr. Man. See, I told you I'm crazy.

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