The Best Christmas Gift EVER

Ah, Christmas time...a time of merriment and wonder and the hopes that you'll get the perfect gift. I have great childhood memories of Christmas. My grandmother was wealthy and she spared no expense on all of us. Some years she gave cars, other years she gave furs. She was always extravagant - larger than life. Actually, the Christmases she had were way beyond the norm in my opinion. There's no way I could ever give the type of gifts she did. Ever.

I hope that my kidlets have enjoyed the Christmases they've had so far. They weren't extravagant but they usually always got something they had on their wish list. Since my divorce to their dad, Christmases have taken on a different dynamic. He gets them cool electronics and expensive stuff. I on the other hand, get them cheesy fun stuff. Since I remarried (to a cop) I don't have the mega bucks like their dad has. But I like to think that they like my gifts as much as they do all of the cool electronics.

To say that Mr. Wonderful is a great big, gruff, deep voiced kid is an understatement. He's my youngest kidlet's maturity equal. That's what I always like to say. They're equals. Anyhow, Mr. Man is always joking around with kidlet that Santa is going to bring her a big can of spinach for Christmas. She always laughs and argues with him that he's all wrong but one year Santa did just that.

At first she didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She didn't quite know what to make out of getting a can of cheap spinach. We don't even eat canned spinach at our house! Manchild was laughing so hard, she finally caught on that it was a joke and then the hamming it up began. I wonder if in the back of her mind, she was wondering if that can of spinach took away from the number of actual gifts she was going to get.

Here's something cute that she might like...actually, so might Manchild. I mean, who doesn't want/need a giant cupcake wrapper?
Another potential gift for my man might be this...he's gun crazy and he likes bacon so why not a bacon gun? That's pure genius!

This year, Manchild came up with the idea of giving everyone ear candles. I had never heard of such a thing. I imagined a person laying their head sideways on a tabletop with their ear facing up and another person standing over them with a burning taper candle dripping wax into the ear canal. OUCH! When the idea of an ear candle was described to me, I then imagined a small wad of wax about the size a hearing aid with a wick that would be lit, thus letting melted wax go down into the ear canal. Luckily, I saw what they actually looked like when we managed to find a store that sold ear candles and I still didn't get it. I finally got to see an ear candle live and in person and then I sort of got it. Guess I'm going to have to try it before I'll fully understand.

Looks plenty

strange to me but I'm up for it. It's going to look pretty funny at our house...20 people holding their heads sideways while they have long paper candel-y flaming thingies sticking out of their ears. Heck, we might as well sword swallow or something. That's equally as crazy.

I'll be sure to let you know how it goes. I'm sure kidlet and Mr. Man are going to have a loud discussion (actually, they are always loud) about who is going to jam a flaming candle in their ear first. I'll probably have to separate them when or if sword swallowing is mentioned.

Merry Christmas yall! May you all get cans of spinach, ear candles and swords for swallowing.