Monday, April 22, 2013

What Kind of Drunk Are You?

I've posted plenty about my love of beer and while I'd like to say that I never really over indulge, it's happened once or twice (or 12 times) in my lifetime. For reasons unknown I let my mind wander and examined the different phases of tipsy-ness that might or might not have happened to me in the past.

First, there's the happy, loving, 'let's have fun' kind of tipsy.
This is the kind of tipsy that I can appreciate. I'm not hurting anyone, I'm happy in my own little world and I'll be a great buddy to hang around with. I've cooked some of my best dinners when I was in this phase. And I would be willing to feed anyone and everyone who crossed my path because I want all of the people around me to enjoy and share the happiness. And I love to sing. I'm not sure how great that is for the people around me, but I've had a blast getting on stage and belting my heart out.

I must admit that I've had other kinds of moments while tipsy as well. I can get a little...mischievous.

That's when my inner bad girl comes out and I'm tempted to prank people. I don't prank harmfully - I'm a nice pranker. I do silly stuff like fill people's cars with packing peanuts or wrap their bars of soap in plastic wrap where it's not obvious and laugh as they try to figure out why the soap isn't sudsing. I may or may not have been known to put a little bit of olive oil on doorknobs or stuff the end of the toothpaste tube with salt or short sheet a bed or two, or hide behind bushes and jump out and scream as cars pass. Maybe. I might have done some of those things in the past.

I might have had a tipsy or two where I was a daredevil. Maybe. You know the old adage about having a few cans of courage? Yeah. I have the scars to prove it. My dirt biking skills were really put to the test after a few cans. And car surfing is something that I'd never do normally but might have done in my youth. Heaven forbid if my kids ever even think of doing the stupid stuff I've done.

I think that my most recurring tipsy is the love bug tipsy.

I love everyone and would give them anything. You like my new priceless, super rare, only one in the world ring? Please, take it! I insist!
I once traded a really nice pair of expensive gold earrings for a pair that were made out of plastic beads and sea shells. I regretted it the next day. But I don't take things back. You can't accuse me of being an Indian giver. I've been at friends' houses and our beer supply was running low so I zipped out to the store and rather than buying a 6-pack or 12-pack I bought 2 cases. I drank two then left the rest at their house. I've done that a lot of times. I'm kinda thinking that I'd like that to happen at MY house once in a while. Sort of recoup my losses. I've given away jewelry, clothes, furniture, a clock, shoes and more. If someone takes a shine to something that I have and they really, really love it, I'll give it to them. I want them to be as happy and in love as I am.

I draw the line at hanging and slobbering all over people. I won't do that. I'll hug and I'll give kisses but I'm not sloppy about it. And I don't get right up in yo' grill when we're talking either. I'm always worried about spewing beer breath - yuck. I've been beer breath-ed and spittled on way too many times and know to keep my distance. Yep, I'm a real princess. A love bug princess. Of course, that's only when I'm drinking which isn't that often (once a week or more ;-)   ) Don't go getting all indignant on me now. I can almost bet cash money you've been there at least once. And if you ever get that way again, let me know and we can give hugs to one another. Maybe I'll give you my shoes or something.

1 comment:

  1. I'm a Margarita kind of girl in the summer. After a long day working outside, I love to sit under the trees in the evening and enjoy a good margarita!!