Falling down the stairs

This past weekend we were at the little house in the woods having a good old time. At some point during the night, I heeded the call of nature and as I was going down the stairs my feet took off at two different angles. Before I could say lickety split I was hurtling down the stairs and could not for the life of me get a hand hold to stop myself. My left arm went backwards at a very odd angle and I remember hearing a sickening crunch. My right arm was desperately trying to grab onto the hand rail but my feet were going out from under me so quickly, I never could catch myself.

I eventually landed and proceeded to the restroom to finish things. Nothing was broken and I thought I was in the clear until I heard my youngest kidlet hollering and crying. Apparently, she felt the house shake as I was tumbling downward and since I didn't cry out as I was going down she didn't know what was happening. She was afraid that someone or something was trying to break into the house. Manchild is our fearless protector (and also sleeps with a BIG gun right beside the bed) so it was only natural that kidlet would run to him.

I heard him ask her where I was and I guess he figured things out because he didn't seem to be worried in the least. About intruders or me. Once I returned to bed the mystery was solved and we all went peacefully back to sleep. My lovely child drew the above illustration to show you how things went down but she can't draw how sore and stiff I was the next morning. If stair falling was an Olympic sport, I would have gotten a 10 from all of the judges.

I can hear the announcer now: "There she is at the top of the stairs, she's going down nicely - oh crud! would you look at that! I think she just performed full splits on stairs 4 and 5. Stan, did you see her arm bend backwards in such an awkward state? Wow, that's just amazing. People, the sound was absolutely deafening as she tumbled down what was it...7 or 8 steps? I give an overall score of a perfect 10. Well executed, completely ungraceful and yet not a single tear was shed. Absolute perfection!"

Ka-boom! Owie wowie!