Monday, January 14, 2013

My "dream date" dancer

This weekend Manchild and I went out on a long, long, LONG overdue date. We did what we normally do when we go out...we picked one of our favorite musicians and went to hear him play. Most of time I'm content to sit with my beloved and simply listen but on occasion, I am overcome with an urge to get up and bust a serious move on the dance floor. Now, my man does not dance. We tried it - ONCE and I must admit, he was pretty terrible. And he looked so dang uncomfortable I decided right then and there that I'd never try to get him out on the dance floor ever again. Because of this, I am forced to find alternative dance partners. Most of the time, there's usually someone I know who will dance with me but I have been known to approach a total stranger if the desire to dance is strong enough.

On this particular night the music was good but I didn't feel the need to trip the lights fantastic. Besides, I was afraid if I did, I'd strip out all the bolts holding my shiny new hardware in my neck and I didn't want that to happen. But if I had wanted to dance, there was a dude in the club who could fit the bill, sort of. He could not resist hitting up every person with breasts to dance, and he was not taking no for an answer.

We watched him spin and twirl and jive and...fall down. I can only think of one other time in all of my years going to bars where I've seen a dude fall down but this guy was about to make up for it. When he fell, it didn't seem to phase him. He simply popped up and kept on dancing. Then a minute or so later he fell again! It was then that we noticed that he was a little unsteady on his feet. Actually, he was down right sloppy. When he approached a female to dance with him, he sort of fell all over her. He got all up in her personal space. He put his hands on her (probably in an attempt to hold himself up) and practically ripped her arms off while trying to drag her to the dance floor. He was annoying.

At one point in the evening, I went up to the bar for a drink and Mr.Happyfeet was there as well. He slurred an invitation to dance which I politely declined. He then asked me a little more ardently which I again declined. Then he tried pulling my arms and dragging me to the dance floor. I managed to slip out of his grasp but the guy didn't give up. I pointed out my husband (who is sort of intimidating looking) but the guy's beer goggles were so fogged, I don't think he could tell which direction I was pointing in. At one point, I gave a beseeching look to another bar patron for help but I guess he had on beer goggles, too because he didn't do anything. I finally ran out of patience and gave my admirer the old 'talk to the hand' action but he was not swayed.
He kept on pleading and pulling on me and generally making me pissed off until I finally shoved him away and went back to where I had been sitting. I was just waiting for him to stumble our way so Manchild could put the old 'kick his drunk ass out the door' and relieve all of the women of that guy but
he kept his distance.

After falling down another time or two - including one slow fall onto a couple's tabletop, the guy settled down. Later, I was outside gulping in fresh air when I saw the fella slosh and sway down the sidewalk and away from the club. I have no idea where he went because we were in a semi industrial area and there weren't too many other establishments he could enter. Luckily, I didn't see him try to drive away but he did walk (sort of) off in 20 degree weather with no coat. He had enough liquid anti freeze to last a while but I can't help but wonder if he's frozen behind a dumpster somewhere. I bet that drunk fool had one hell of a hangover the next day and I bet he wondered why his legs and ass were covered with bruises. Tiny drunk dancer...ugh.

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