Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Instruction manuals are great for guys

Manchild has been in the process of training me and I have been training him for the last 4 years or so. He is teaching me to speak out when something bothers me, rather than stewing about it for hours on end.  I am teaching him to temper his words and be a little more diplomatic if he's bothered about something. We're getting there - ever so slowly.

One thing he told me that has been invaluable, is that men have one track minds. They can only think about one thing at a time where us ladies juggle 10,000 thoughts at a time. I used to get bent out of shape when I'd try to talk to him as he was working on something and I'd end up feeling like he was ignoring me. He'd get bothered because I wanted to talk deep philosophy as he was cleaning his gun. He literally had to stop what he was doing so he could think about what I was saying and to formulate a response. I didn't realize until he told me (for the millionth time) that a man is a one track thinker.

I have also been trained (not always successfully) to spell out what I'm expecting in certain situations. For example: this past weekend we had a date night and I was very excited because we have not had one in forever. I wanted to feel all special and lovey dovey and I wanted his complete attention and affection. Simply hoping for it wasn't going to cut it - I'd end up disappointed. So I followed his suggestion and spelled out exactly what I was hoping to experience that evening. I told him I wanted lots of hugs and kisses, and that I wanted him to hold my hand as much as possible and that I wanted to be his QUEEN and treated as such. And you know what? It worked! I almost felt as giddy with him as I used to feel when we were dating! He followed my instructions to a tee and we had a wonderful evening. He got to feel like he was the most handsome, important, studly dude in the entire place and I got to feel like he was really into me once again. Before this weekend, I was getting to the point of making a Pros and Cons list about us being together but all it took was a few well spoken expectations and I'm back to thinking that the list can wait.

Ladies, it might not be the most romantic thing the world to have to tell your man exactly what you expect but it sure does work. Most guys aren't cinema style romantics and they need to understand what it is that you crave. If you can vocalize what you need most guys will jump at the chance to please you. Their one track minds need a blueprint. They aren't mind readers and I've found that no amount of hinting is going to get you what you want. You've got to lay it out on the table for them. But once they have the game plan, they're Superman on a mission. Learn this and you'll have it made.

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