Yep, I'm sportin' Toms

I will openly admit that I'm a fashion flunky. Plain Jane. Boooorrrrrring. If I see an outfit at a store that I like on a mannequin, I'll buy the exact outfit and wear it exactly like the mannequin and never deviate from it. My girls are both fashionable and I know they didn't get it from me.

My youngest kidlet and I wear the same size shoe. She got a pair of Toms for her birthday so I decided to wear them around and see if I looked as cute as she did while wearing them. Um, NO. For some reason, her feet looked small and cute in the shoes but mine looked like I was wearing skis! My feet looked HUGE! My feet looked stupid!

I've never really been a fan of Toms shoes anyway, because I can't stand the thought of spending $50+ dollars for shoes that look like they came from
K-Mart. (I could build a pair of shoes that look like Toms!) And I don't really like how the front of the shoe is folded to enclose the feet with absolutely no attempt at making them stylish.

They're cheap shoes sold expensively for Pete's sake! But all the girls want them and have to have a pair. Back in the day when I was a teen, Sperry Topsiders were the shoe of choice. But they weren't dorky like Toms. They were cool and you could wear them on a boat and not slip and fall. Toms shoes don't even make sense.

I can't believe it but I actually have 2 pairs of Toms now (even though I think they're ugly). One pair came my way because they were a gift for kidlet but they didn't fit right so I got them by default. The other pair were an impulse purchase. And they're OK because they're not really true Toms. No, they're a knockoff brand. Roms or Poms or something silly like that. And I got them because they match a top that I have, and because they were only $9.00 and the because saleslady was very convincing and because I was on heavy painkillers so my sense of reasoning was a bit altered.

The day I wore my stylin' (ugly) blue fake Toms with the perfectly matching top, I must have asked my daughter 20 times if my feet looked huge and stupid. I was very self conscious the entire time. She had on her black ones and her feet looked cute. Mind you - we wear the same exact size, but my feet looked dorky and hers looked cute. I imagine that I'll have the same problem every time I wear those shoes - feeling like a ski-foot, old-lady-blue-sequin-footed dork-bot. A fembot but a dorky footed fembot. If you see me, stop me and let me know if I look dorky. And let me know if it looks like I have a size 725 foot, will ya?