Thursday, February 21, 2013

I'm gonna be freakin' SUPERWOMAN, yo!

For most of my adult life - wait, scratch that...for most of my life since I've been above the age of 21 (I'll never be a real adult), I have tried to face my fears head on. I figure the best way to get over something is to just DO IT. Then, you either get over whatever it was you were afraid of, you master something, or you end up killing yourself trying to master it. I'm still kicking so I survived some of my fears that were a little dangerous.

Case in point...I was fearful of heights so I went parachuting. Being 10,000 feet up in the air and stepping out of a moving airplane sort of kicks fear's ass in the FACE! Power to me, people!! I'm awesome!!! That's how I roll.

About people fears: I've always used the old saying about how even the most powerful person in the world puts their pants on one leg at a time, so they are not to be feared but somewhere along the line in the last 4-5 years I've kind of started being a...wimp in this department. I don't know if going through a divorce beat me down (although, you'd think it would have made me feel stronger) or what, but I seriously slowed down facing my fears.

FOR EXAMPLES: I wrote previously about a dude (who is ridiculously hawt) who does business with my office and how I can't even speak to him because I'm afraid my huge, gaping catfish ass mouth is going to spew out something asinine and he'll think I'm a total dweeb. So instead, I gawk at him from afar and hide whenever he passes my cube because I'm afraid of having to speak to him (and I look like a total dweeb).
The grandson of the founder of the company I work for rides the elevator like all the rest of us working schlubs yet, I never greet him like I do everyone else because he's just so far up the food chain. Like, he enjoys riding the elevator in total silence while everyone cowers on the opposite side of that itty bitty box. NOT! It's silliness I tell you!!!

For 2013 I have decided to resume punching my fears right in the face and I will simply get over my wimpy, trembling, delusional self. I'm gonna be freakin' SUPERWOMAN, yo! And yes, I'm going to use the word "YO" because I've been watching back to back episodes of Breaking Bad and Jesse always uses the word "YO" and it's really rubbed off on me in a big way. He also calls everyone "bitch" but it just doesn't work so well for me when I say it. I don't care if I'm a 49 year old girl who uses a phrase that 20-somethings use. I like "YO" and I'm damn well going to use it, YO! See, I kicked the fear of using the word "yo" in the face! DAMN, I'M BAD!!! (In a good way)

So what have I done so far with my fears? Well, the dude that is so freaking hawt (that calls on our office) and I wound up on the same elevator the other day. Just the two of us. And I made myself strike up and carry on a conversation with him. I looked him right in the eye the entire time. I have no clue what we spoke about because I was too busy quaking in my boots and begging my mouth not to say something really stupid but I DID IT. And today, I wound up in the elevator (maybe the elevator is my new place to conquer my fears) with the grandson of the founder of the company I work for. I made myself look him right in the eye and greet him and make small talk while all of the other (fearful) people in the elevator cowered on the side farthest from him.

Most of my victories so far have taken place in an elevator but the year is young. Each time I conquer something I fear, I feel a little bit stronger so maybe I'll be able to face something scary - oh, let's say...outside! If I'm going to teach my kidlets to be strong, I have to be a good role model. So I better start whittling away at my long list of fears. There are plenty of fears to conquer so with each victory I will feel and act stronger. Like I said, I'm gonna be freakin' SUPERWOMAN YO!

1 comment:

  1. Wait- who is the hawt guy that comes into our office?? How have I not seen him??

    The one time I interacted with Ryan was when he wasn't paying attention getting onto the elevator and he ran right into me. I kept apologizing even though I was just standing there. I was a dork!!