Aunt Laura & The Haunted House

My sister in law and I are a lot alike. We have the same sense of humor, we have the same illnesses, we both like her brother. She's not afraid to be silly and have fun. Once we went gambling and while exiting the parking lot, we spotted the casino lawman on a bicycle (which we found funny). We proceeded to get his attention and ask him if he'd let us take our picture with him. He agreed. Then we told him that we wanted him to handcuff us and lean us over the trunk of a car like he was arresting and searching us. He was a good sport and went along with us. It was a great picture.

On that same trip, we pulled together all of our dollar bills and fanned them out in our hands like we were showing off our winnings, and we stood in front of the rattiest Winnebago you've ever seen. We were acting like we won lots of money and that fabulous motor home. That's the kind of stuff we like to do.

This story is about the times we've been together to haunted houses. The first time, Laura's brother, my ex went with us. We picked out a good looking haunted house and got ready for some good scares. I have to elaborate a little bit by saying that Laura is a little bigger than me. When going through haunted houses, Laura manhandles me and uses me as a shield. I don't really have much choice in the matter. She just lifts me up and moves me wherever she wants to.

So the three of us started out in the haunted house and things are going swimmingly.
We jumped and screamed and generally had a wonderful time. We made it through the haunted house without incident until near the very end. I had survivied being used as a shield and tossed about like a rag doll, and her brother, my ex, seemed to be having a good time. Then disaster struck. Someone jumped out and spooked Laura a lot. She decided to run the rest of the way out but it was so dark, it was really hard to see where we were going. Unfortunately, Laura mistook one of the walls for an opening and she charged into it, knocking down the wall. This falling wall started a chain reaction of other walls falling. Laura and I were cackling to beat the band! We were laughing so hard, seeing was even more difficult. Her brother, my ex was absolutely mortified.

Long story short, we hightailed it out of there after 3 walls came down. We didn't pass go, we didn't stop to collect $100.00, we didn't even say goodbye. We just ran for our car and got out of there as fast as we could.

The next year, Laura came back to the big city and this time she brought a friend who was a laid back, mild mannered sort of shy girl. We dressed up in costumes and took my girls trick or treating which was a blast. Then we left the girls with Laura's brother, my ex (he was kind to babysit while we went out and played), and we went out to find a haunted house.

We wound up at a haunted house that was put on by the Dallas Police Department. It was really cool and we were super excited. As usual, I ended up being Laura's shield. Her friend couldn't do anything but laugh her head off the whole time. The haunted house was fun and I was being flung about like a rag doll for a while and then Laura let go of me. In that short time, a ghoul startled her and do you know what she did???? She punched that ghoul right in the face. And it wasn't a little tap either! She decked that ugly dude! He grabbed his face and started moaning and Laura realized what she did and immediately started apologising. She basically drug the poor guy outside and continued to apologise. The ghoul (a COP!!!) was cool about it. Apparently he touched her which was what set her off and he admitted that he shouldn't have touched her. He apologised for scaring her and she apologised for beating him up.

We didn't get arrested and we had a great time. I haven't gotten to go trick or treating with her in quite a few years and I sure do miss it. I haven't been to a haunted house since then and I want to go. I hope she comes back to town so we can go again. I know it's a little akward since I'm no longer married to her brother but I still love them both and she and I are still capable of "bringin' down the house". The haunted house that is!