Monday, August 22, 2011

I don't want to say goodbye!!!

Parents all over the place are taking their kids to school for the first day and some of those parents will be blubbering idiots once the kid gets out of the car. I am one such parent. I have a senior in high school which causes me to blubber because my baby is growing up too fast and soon she'll leave the nest. My other baby is starting middle school and I blubber over her because she's growing up too fast and I'm worried about her in the bigger school. She's so sweet and kind and I'm afraid she'll get trampled by all of the big kids.

When my kidlets started kindergarten, I walked them to their classes and put on a brave face and told them how much fun they'd have. Then as soon as I left the school campus and began the lonely long walk home, I dissolved into a big snotty crumpled mess of emotions. At that time I was a stay at home mom so if the babies needed anything, I could drive my car like a bat out of h-e-double-hockey-sticks up to the school to rescue them. Now I work so I can't do that. Heck, I'm having trouble figuring out what to do with my youngest after school lets out! That's really frustrating!

I'm playing mind games with myself right now. I'm remembering back to when I was starting a new school. I got through it just fine. I didn't get run over by big kids, I didn't get lost in the school so badly that I couldn't find my classes, I navigated the lunch room and didn't why am I so worried? I'm literally sick at my stomach. Unfortunately, these are not the days where doctors dole out "mother's little helpers" just because mother is stressed over her kidlets starting school. I wish it were.

I guess I'll do like millions of other mothers do on the first day of school; I'll gnash my teeth and pull my hair and go into a bathroom stall 26 times in one day to cry. And at the end of the day when my stomach ulcer is fully formed and I only have 3 strands of hair left, I'll collect my children from school and ask them how their day went. And they'll probably be happy as little clams and tell me what fun they had, and how good their lunch was, and how they helped a little kid find their class. And I'll weep again, but this time with joy in my heart.

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