Just go ahead and shovel dirt over me!

When it rains, it pours. And boy have I gotten poured on lately. Or at least it seems that way. Most of the time I’m a very positive thinker but I guess enough road bumps have gotten in my path that it’s starting to affect me. None of my problems are hugely gigantic but there seem to be so many, I feel myself beginning to shut down when yet another item arises.

Let me begin with my biggest trouble…my p.o.s. house that is slowly crumbling to pieces. My foundation is a total wreck and it needs a lot of expensive repair work. Because the foundation is so sorry, my walls are cracking and buckling, the tiles are popping loose from the floor, windows won’t open and doors won’t shut and just the other day I discovered that water pipes are breaking. Grrrreeeaaaaaaaat. But hey, it’s nothing a hefty loan won’t fix.

My air conditioner is also trying to die on me. So far I’ve spent over $500 trying to keep it living a while longer but it’s still on the fritz. Who knows how many hundreds (or thousands) more it’s going to cost to get it up and running. But hey, it’s nothing a hefty loan won’t fix.

I haven’t been receiving child support in a year & a half so it’s up to me to cover all of the expenses of two girls, one of which who is in college. Lucky for me, she’s going to a less expensive community college right now but I know in my heart of hearts that she needs to experience university life. And that’s gonna cost me plenty. But hey, it’s nothing a hefty loan won’t fix.

The Christmas holiday is rapidly approaching which means gifts need to be purchased but I don’t think that the banks make loans for that. Credit cards do, but they have a way of rearing their ugly heads in 30 days or less.

One of my favorite statements is ‘hey, it could be worse’ but I haven’t been using that one lately. I keep trying to change my attitude but it’s really hard to do right now. My health hasn’t been cooperating so I’m automatically sore and tired and I know for a fact that stress and depression do not help things. And, there isn’t a loan for that either. although, I have some pretty radical meds. Except that they turn me into a sleepy, slack jawed zombie who can’t perform the most basic task. So even if I decided to get a second job to pay off all of the loans I have coming my way, I’m not sure if I’d get hired because the great meds render me useless. It’s a vicious tail chasing cycle.

I know what I need to do…I need to quit bellyaching and make friends with an understanding banker who will grant me a loan to make it past all of these disasters and get shit fixed. Then I need to get off of my zombie ass and help someone who needs help more than I do. Because when you help others, your problems don’t see as significant. And only after I help someone else can I fall down on my bed and slumber for 29 or 60 days straight. But if I did that, something would probably get neglected and break and I’d be back to square one. Because I live in a money pit. And I’m a zombie.