I am
invisible.
Not
by choice, but because I feel that no matter where I am, people don’t even
notice me.
I
take my time at home dressing, fixing my hair and applying my makeup. I want to
look nice when I go out. When I am pleased with how I look, I head out into the
world – optimistic about the events that might unfold.
I’m
surrounded by people - and yet I feel like I’m the only person in the room. I
watch life go on around me and I very much want to be a part of it but quickly
become crippled by sadness because I feel like I don’t matter.
Friends
and family comment on how funny and witty I am but all I see when I look in the
mirror is a defeated, lonely, unlovable, pathetic person.
I
want a loving partner. Someone who adores me as much as I would adore them but
I’ve tried the marriage merry go round twice, and twice I was emotionally
abandoned. I guess it’s not for me. Even though I want for it to be.
All
of my family members have loving spouses. All. Of. Them. But not me.
I
know you are supposed to love yourself before others can love you but I
honestly do not think I will ever find someone to be my reflection.
Why
you might ask? Because I am invisible.
