For many, many, many years, Halloween was the holiday for me. I looked forward to it all year long. I liked it more than Christmas! Every year I went shopping right after Halloween to find the perfect (discounted) decorations for the following year and man, did I have a lot.

The very first day of October you could find me in my yard putting up decorations. I "dug" graves, I had spiders and skeletons, I had a full sized coffin and more. 

Some years, I'd dress up in a costume and position myself inside of the coffin just waiting to scare the bejeezus out of poor unsuspecting kids. Other years, I'd make a long dark tunnel out of my front porch and I'd dress up in a creepy costume, sitting stock still in a chair with the candy bowl in my lap. As the kids approached me, I'd stare at them while wearing creepy yellow contact lenses, just daring them to reach for a piece of candy. When they did, I'd barely move  which would really freak them out. 

I had dozens of costumes to choose from, too. Here are a few of my favorite looks:

Halloween was the Holy Grail for me. It didn't matter that my kids got older and outgrew trick or treating. I still liked to dress up and wander around. I was a kid that refused to grow up (still am).

Last year I began to notice a change. I didn't drag out as many decorations and I didn't go shopping for more props. I did dress up and go trick or treating but it didn't seem to be as much fun. 

This year I only put out one decoration. My casket is still stored in the garage. I didn't bring out the bats and rats and bloody body parts and I didn't even open up my costume container. I'm wondering what in the heck-fire has happened to me. Where has my spirit gone??? 

Where I work, we go all out decorating and the children of the employees are invited to come to the office and go trick or treating. It's a HUGE deal but I didn't get involved. And when the kids showed up, I high-tailed it to an unused office and hid from all of the wonderfully wild mayhem.

Um, excuse me but, I think I'm turning into a scrooge or something! It's alarming! As of this writing, I've got 2 days to ramp up my Halloweenism. I don't know if I can pull it off but I'm sure going to try because there are tons of little kids out there that need to see that you never outgrow Halloween. Plus, they're fun to prank. Maybe I'll go crazy and dress up in one piece from each of my costumes. I'll be a conglomerate the likes of which no one has ever seen. That's if I can catch the spirit in the big way like I've done in past years. I sure hope I do. Otherwise I'll be a dull old humbugger.

Just go ahead and shovel dirt over me!

When it rains, it pours. And boy have I gotten poured on lately. Or at least it seems that way. Most of the time I’m a very positive thinker but I guess enough road bumps have gotten in my path that it’s starting to affect me. None of my problems are hugely gigantic but there seem to be so many, I feel myself beginning to shut down when yet another item arises.

Let me begin with my biggest trouble…my p.o.s. house that is slowly crumbling to pieces. My foundation is a total wreck and it needs a lot of expensive repair work. Because the foundation is so sorry, my walls are cracking and buckling, the tiles are popping loose from the floor, windows won’t open and doors won’t shut and just the other day I discovered that water pipes are breaking. Grrrreeeaaaaaaaat. But hey, it’s nothing a hefty loan won’t fix.

My air conditioner is also trying to die on me. So far I’ve spent over $500 trying to keep it living a while longer but it’s still on the fritz. Who knows how many hundreds (or thousands) more it’s going to cost to get it up and running. But hey, it’s nothing a hefty loan won’t fix.

I haven’t been receiving child support in a year & a half so it’s up to me to cover all of the expenses of two girls, one of which who is in college. Lucky for me, she’s going to a less expensive community college right now but I know in my heart of hearts that she needs to experience university life. And that’s gonna cost me plenty. But hey, it’s nothing a hefty loan won’t fix.

The Christmas holiday is rapidly approaching which means gifts need to be purchased but I don’t think that the banks make loans for that. Credit cards do, but they have a way of rearing their ugly heads in 30 days or less.

One of my favorite statements is ‘hey, it could be worse’ but I haven’t been using that one lately. I keep trying to change my attitude but it’s really hard to do right now. My health hasn’t been cooperating so I’m automatically sore and tired and I know for a fact that stress and depression do not help things. And, there isn’t a loan for that either. although, I have some pretty radical meds. Except that they turn me into a sleepy, slack jawed zombie who can’t perform the most basic task. So even if I decided to get a second job to pay off all of the loans I have coming my way, I’m not sure if I’d get hired because the great meds render me useless. It’s a vicious tail chasing cycle.

I know what I need to do…I need to quit bellyaching and make friends with an understanding banker who will grant me a loan to make it past all of these disasters and get shit fixed. Then I need to get off of my zombie ass and help someone who needs help more than I do. Because when you help others, your problems don’t see as significant. And only after I help someone else can I fall down on my bed and slumber for 29 or 60 days straight. But if I did that, something would probably get neglected and break and I’d be back to square one. Because I live in a money pit. And I’m a zombie.